The Camel and the Mathman

(Due Apologies to Lewis Carroll)

The sun was shining on the scene,
Shining with all his might,
He did his very best to get
The picture "took" just right,
And give to all who view this page
A vision of delight.

The Camel and the Mathman once
Went walking, as we read;
They wept like anything to see
Such woeful lack of shpeed.
"If we could set the pace," said they,
"It would be swift, indeed!"




"O Shtudents, come an walk with us -"
The Mathman did entreat,
"A little test, a little flunk,
Is surely quite a treat;
Each year we find a few who wish
Such pleasure to repeat!"

The wary Senior looked at him,
But never a word he said.
The sad-faced Junior winked his eye,
The Sophie shook his head -:
Meaning to say, they did not choose
To take that walk so dread.

But all the Freshmen hurried up,
Quite eager for the run,
Their books were new, their pencils sharp,
Their hearts so light for fun!
And that was odd, because, you see,
They should have weighed a ton.

The Camel and the Matheman now
Walked on a week or so,
And then they rested on a desk
Conveniently low,
And all the little Freshies sat
And waited, in a row.

"The time has come," the Mathman said,
"To talk of many things:
Quadratics, Series infinite;
And roots and factorings
And where the nth. term keeps itself,
And whether 'logs' have wings."

"But wait a bit!" the Freshman cried,
"Before you start such trains,
For some of us are very slow,
And none have mammoth brains -."
"No hurry," said the Camel kind -
They thanked him for his pains.

"A blackboard smooth," the Mathman said,
Is what we chiefly need,
Chalk and erasers, too, I find,
Are very good indeed, -
Now if you're ready, Freshman dear,
We'll try to get more shpeed!"

"But where's our fun?" the Greshies cried,
Feeling a little blue;
"After such kindness, this is sure
A dismal thing to do!"
The Mathman uttered nothing but -,
"This afternoon at two!"

"It's rather mean," the Camel said
"To play them such a trick,
After we've brought them on so far
And piled their work so thick."-
The Mathman only smiled. "Each year
We make this walk more quick!"

"Well, Freshies," said the Mathman then,
"You've had a pleasant run, -
Shall we stroll on to Higher Math.?"
But answer came there none:
And that was scarcely odd, because
They'd flunked out, every one!